The Magic Flute

I'm taking a women's folklore class and was assigned an oral storytelling with gender implications. I decided to loosely base my story off of Yoshitaka Amano's, Mateki: The Magic Flute, which is based off of Mozart's opera.

The Magic Flute

By: Megan Fowler

In the beginning lay the void.

The void gave birth to twins- a daughter of darkness and a son of light.

The two grow up together in the void, and their happiness fueled their creativity.

The two of them loved one another so much that they never wanted to be separated. They each created something so that they could always find the other.

The son created fire to shine through the void and spread warmth and happiness.

The daughter created a flute whose song was pure joy. As the daughter played the flute, the fire danced and the twins were happy. Whenever they went to explore the void, they could always find the other.

A creature sat above the void and watched the twins. It saw the fire dance and listened to the flute’s haunting tune. The creature decided that the flute was the more valuable of the two. The music of the flute could be heard from much farther away than the flames could be seen. Further, it was saw that the flute must be the more powerful because of how the fire obeyed its song. The creature was filled with desire.

The creature entered the void, and as it did, the crack widened.

The creature waited for the twins to separate and then went after the son.

The son wondered through the void and until he found a creature floating in front of him.

“Greetings, Son,” called the creature.

“Who are you?”

“A friend with a warning. Your sister means to conquer you.”

The son does not know what to make of this. “What lies are these that you speak?”

There came then the sound of the flute.

“My sister is calling me, I should go to her,” The son turned to leave.

“See how she strives to outdo your creation? Her song pierces the void in a way that your fire cannot. Further, it is her song that makes your fire dance. She is already your master.”

The son weighed the creature’s words and new them to be true.

“Sister means to kill you and to plunge the void into eternal darkness,” whispered the creature as he felt his desire pulse within him.

“What should I do?”

“Give me your fire, I will take it lead your sister away. You can escape.”

The boy gave the creature his fire. The creature laughed and jumped upon the son. Without his fire, the boy was helpless and the creature swallowed him whole.

Picking his teeth clean, the creature settled down to wait.

The flames danced higher as the haunting music of the flute grew louder. The Daughter of Darkness stopped playing when she saw the creature holding the dancing flames.

“Where is my brother?”

“Your brother was so consumed by your song that he became the dancing fire.”

The daughter was shocked. Her body shook with grief. The daughter new that the creature was lying, but there was nothing she could do. After a moment she reached out her hand, in it she bore the flute.

“Please, take this, in exchange for my brother.”

The creature snatched up his prize and disappeared.

The daughter picked up the flame and held it near her heart. The fire had begun to die in the absence of the music. She felt the loss of her brother drain her as the flame shrunk. Overcome with the pain, she was desperate to cry, however she knew that any tears would put out the tiny flame cupped in her hands. So instead of crying, she opened her mouth and filled the void with her sorrow. The sound of the flute played through the daughter with a new kind of song, a song of grief.

As she sang, the fire in her hand grew until it became a pillar of flame. The void caught on fire. The song burst out from the daughter, the fire burst out from the son.

The fire danced to the music, the music played to the dance.

The creature was destroyed by their power and his body fell into the void, becoming the earth. His blood rained down upon the earth and eroded away rivers, it pooled into oceans. The turmoil from the twins hung above in the sky and the fire became the sun and the song became the moon. Together they watched over creation and their balance pushed the earth and pulled the water.

Queer: An Evolving Definition

Like all identities, queer is something that is multi-faceted and complex. It is also something that holds different meanings to different people. A queer identity has been claimed by those with gender expressions that vary from the male and female dichotomy, those who proclaim a pansexual orientation, or by those who use the word queer as a launching point into a community of political and social radicalism. It is my argument that there are at least two classifications of the word queer as it relates to personal identity. There is debate surrounding the usage of queer as a verb or as a noun. It is my argument that queer can be used distinctly in both of these forms with validity.

            I have grappled with my own frustration in trying to pin down what it means to be queer. I have stubbornly demanded that the term queer remain undefined. I have personally embraced and vehemently advocated for a queer identity that is understood on an individual basis. For me that identity represents fluidity both in gender identity and sexual identity. I acknowledge that my trepidation surrounding the act of solidifying queer into something that represents an immediately recognizable stereotype is caused by my own insecurities. I feel that it is important that it is known as I discuss my viewpoints on queer where my biases lie. I have a home in a queer identity. For the first time I have found a community that I can relate to. I finally feel privileged in being able to experience the sense of protection and strength that comes with numbers. I who have so often rejected community have begun to see things differently now that I feel that I have found one.

             However, the queer community is tremulous. There seems little stability in this community without a definition. Perhaps this is why within nonacademic circles the precision of the term queer is in the background. It is my assumption that the reason that the issue of what it means to identify as queer is skirted is because we each know that our thoughts on the matter are likely in disagreement with each other. I for one am hesitant to state a clear definition of queer because I know what it feels like to be without a community and would never wish to put my hand in removing a community with all of its comforts from another person. With this acknowledged, there are benefits to a concrete identity that the queer community seems to lose out on. The more defined an identity the more stable that community seems to be. Not to say that a community with clear definition is not without its drawbacks, however having key components of one’s identity agreed upon offers a strength and unity that an identity that is totally fluid forfeits.

            Fluidity is possibly the one consistent aspect of the current definitions of what a queer identity is and should not be entirely disregarded. Instead I would like to suggest a possible compromise. There is debate over whether or not queer should be used in the form of a verb or a noun. This discussion seems contradictory to the nature of queer. Instead of seeking a solution within a dichotomy, a societal norm which is at the basis of what is so often rejected by a queer identity, why not concede that queer can not only be either a noun or a verb, but something in between or outside of such typical linguistic devices. The language of queer is atypical and therefore the language used to define it should reflect that reality.

            It is my assertion that queer be allowed two primary classifications with room for crossover between the two. The first class of queer is specifically relevant to those individuals who are both intergender and pansexual identified. The second class of queer relates to sexual practices that are socially against/radical for the society of the individual practicing them. Included in this second classification are those who identify as queer because of political motivations for such sexual practices. Note that one identifying as asexual could still fall within this category if their actions are considered atypical of social standards. Considering the significance within queer theory of the understanding that there is a difference between sex and gender, a fact that is often ignored within American culture, it is also important to promote a clear understanding of the differences between sexual orientation and sexual identity. Further it should be reminded that gender identity and presentation are not indicative of sexual orientation or identity. I clarify this because it is vital to these two classifications of queer that the crossover between them be perhaps more emphasized than the dichotomy they may appear to pose. It is not a matter of a choice to be made. There is no rule that one who is queer must see themselves as only falling within Class A or only in Class B. Instead, wherever one should fall is a valid part of a queer identity.

            It is my hope that rather than divide the community, these definitions can help strengthen it. What may seem a concrete definition is in fact a roundabout way to describe the fluidity of queer in terms that are able to be explained without a lot of difficulty. I believe that these classifications do not undermine the complexity of a queer identity while at the same time making queer seem more attainable to those outside seeking to better understand what it means for someone to say that they are queer. This is taking into account that personal identity is not so simple as to be summarized into a catch phrase or stereotype, but instead makes an introduction to basic understanding accessible.

            With two classifications of queer being understood, I am going to emphasize the crossover between them. In many ways, queer is about challenging the system. Whether consciously or unconsciously, being queer in American society goes against the grain of heterosexist norms. Queer challenges dichotomies of gender, sex, and sexual orientation. To be queer is to deny the poles of masculine and feminine, male and female, or straight and gay. All three of these facets of identity have in common that that they are male-centric. In terms of gender masculine qualities outweighing feminine ones. In terms of sex, male-bodied individuals are seen as stronger, more independent, and more capable of leadership. Finally, in terms of sexual orientation, straight is still considered synonymous with male dominance in that it is the male’s role to proposition the female for sex and his job to penetrate the female. The commonly used term “gay” is one that specifically refers to homosexual men. This term like many other male-centric words and phrases in American English has been repurposed as the commonly accepted term to refer to a group that may also include female-identified and or gender-queer identifies individuals. Queer challenges male-centrism, male-dominance, and dichotomy.

            This further bleeds into the second classification of queer through the radical political/social aspects of one’s sexual practices. Lesbian feminist movements that reject the act of penetration whether only inclusive of vaginal penetration or penetration at all with their partners is a form of the second classification of queer. However, this practice in some ways also reinforces gender stereotypes. Penetration is seen as a heterosexist act that is instigated by male-bodied individuals. This description makes it impossible to healthily replicate such acts in a safe environment. It further eliminates the possibility of penetrative sex between male-bodied and female-bodied individuals being healthy.  This line of thinking gives weight to the argument that there is a dichotomy between the male and female sexes, wherein male-bodied individuals are socially dominant and female-bodied individuals are submissive. While these roles defined as they are are not without evidence the movement away from partnerships with male-bodied individuals is counterproductive to a queer identity that suggests that sex should not matter in the scheme of things. What is further problematic is that this sexual practice plays into the cultural ignorance towards trans and intersex people and instead places everyone in competing roles as strictly male or female. This refusal to acknowledge a trans identity as a gender that is in opposition to one’s birth sex is in clear opposition of primary components of the first queer classification discussed which emphasized dismissing the sex/gender dichotomy. This example illustrates that queer as a verb is not necessarily indicative of queer also as a noun. One can have sexual actions that are queer without having a queer identity.

            As an example of a broad group of sexual practices that fit within the realm of a description of queer as a verb are fetishes. This is an important group of people to include because fetishists are often thrown into a queer identity by default. It is my assertion that fetishism is a component of queer as a verb, but not necessarily as queer as a noun. Once again, a little to a lot of crossover can be seen between classifications of queer within fetishism. The DSM includes multiple types of fetishes that go into the realm of paraphilias. Paraphilias are distinct within stages of fetishes because they rank in the fourth stage of Gebhard’s model of fetishism which is based off the work of Freud. The fourth stage represents fetishism that involves a total replacement of a human for sexual arousal. Instead, an object or act becomes the sole focus of individual’s sexual encounter. On the other end of the model, the first stage suggests a slight preference for an object and is hardly considered a fetish by Gebhard. It is notable that Freud’s work on fetishism did not cover women as fetishists. He considered women to be fetishists only in terms of making themselves more appealing to the men they sought to have sex with.

            Queer as a verb and as a noun can be two distinct categories, but under the definition of queer these categories have room to merge and crossover so as to not offer a dichotomous definition for an identity which rejects dichotomies. Under this definition, a heterosexual person can be queer as a fetishist, or one who participates in socially abnormal sexual practices. A queer identity can also mean a person identifies as intergender and pansexual, but does not necessarily have sexual practices that go against the grain of society. However, it is arguable that if a person is intergender and pansexual that their sexual practices would also be queer because they do not fit into the narrow category of male dominant, female submissive.

            

A Body Positive Sort of Day

I'm at work in the GLBT Student Services office at my college. Since it is break, I am spending my lax day intermittently working on an event I'm working to plan and browsing the internet. I have found myself in a low body image rut over the past few weeks. It seems that years of being bashed for my body have all welled up and combined into a spewing froth that I can't damn up lately. Part of me thinks it is healthy to get rid of so much negativity. I've started talking about my internal battle with self-image more openly with people I trust. Today is not like the past several though. Today is a body positive sort of day. The kind of "nothing can get me down,sunshine despite the snow" sort of day. I got a haircut- short like I like it, partly in defiance of anyone who has ever told me that short hair would accentuate my round face in all the wrong ways. Honestly, I've never felt better than with short hair, which is why I keep it short, despite what people may think. To sum up and elaborate on things in a way which I neither have the time, nor the articulation for, I wanted to leave you with some boy positive articles, photos and more in the hope that you have the same sort of body positive day that I am.

Margaret Cho talks about growing up bullied and what that means for her now

Plus size model magazine on the state of the modeling industry

http://www.adipositivity.com/

Photographic height/weight chart

http://heatherbarron.blogspot.com/

thebustytraveler.blogspot.com
 

Please share the positivity. I am always interested to see what others find interesting in this subject. Comments are my favorite part of blogging. I'd much rather hear what others have to say than listen to myself talk. :D

Tank Girl

I haven't written for a while, you may have noticed. Just now I was looking at an old friend of mine's blog. Every time I see it, I smile. I remember last winter after a long day at the office we braved a snowstorm in my Infiniti, a car that has been through a lot more than it should have for it's age, to high off of excitement to care about the slippy ice below bald tires. I met her sisters and her mother and we played dress up as even adults do. Steampunked and ready after quick looks in the mirror we carefully braved the treacherous interstate in search of a good time. we listened to Bjork and talked about Tank Girl. I thought about how much I would love to have the take-no-prisoners attitude of the comics' feisty heroine. We took turns talking about how beautiful we all looked. I couldn't help thinking that I was lucky to know such a strong person. I looked up to her for her swift intelligence and social grace, but also for her adamant size positivity. She made me question things like an office movement for weight loss, which at first I was behind, thinking that maybe it was for health reasons. She raised a point that hadn't occurred to me. What's wrong with being fat? According to her, nothing.

That is a hard thing to accept. I was told all my life that my issue was that I was fat. Somehow I interpreted these messages as fat being the root of all of my problems. Whenever I felt inadequate, I thought it was because I was fat. I have struggled for a very long time to not be fat, doing things I'm not proud of to achieve a goal that I barely understood. After leaving home I began to become more comfortable with my body on the surface, however internally I still carried and carry self loathing because of my appearance. Every time I start to feel comfortable with myself, something small tears me down again. It is hard for me to admit that I am so fragile.

I look back on my friend and think how beautiful she was to me. I find strength in those memories. I think how strange it is that I find curvy, busty, (dare I say it, fat?) women attractive. Why can't I accept this as a part of myself? Everyday I make a conscious effort to think of myself differently. Some days it is a little easier. The bottom line is that in reality I do not want to change myself to meet societal standards. I want to like myself. I just don't want to convince other people that I am allowed to. That I should not be ashamed to like myself for being fat.

I was recently diagnosed with poly cystic ovary syndrome. Apparently it is not uncommon. Honestly, I am happy that I finally have an answer to some medical issues I've been dealing with for a while now. The hardest part of the diagnosis and why this information is relevant to my rant above is that one of the best ways to deal with PCOS is to lower simple carbohydrates intake and to try and lose weight. There is a certain finality unlike any other when a doctor looks at you and tells you that you need to lose weight. It hurts in a stingy sort of tear jerking way to think that my internal battle over fat and skinny can be for naught. At the end of the day someone can still tear your self-esteem apart. Someone can give you a reason that you can't argue against, no matter how much you want to, for you to change yourself. When I heard the diagnosis it was a crushing defeat. I felt like a  betrayer to my fat positive allies. I felt like I had turned my back on all of those people who have told me that I am beautiful and fat, just by having a medical problem that I did not cause. That shame for letting people down shifts to feeling like I caused my illness. This is my punishment for not loving myself without condition. My ultimatum: either lose weight or get sicker.

I wish I could speak to my friend again, but we have lost contact. I could use Tank Girl right about now.

Biological Determinism: Aren't Men Just Better at Math and Science?

This blog post is a response to an article written by Ben Barres, a neurologist at Harvard University. The article is a commentary on the statement President Larry Summers made in regards to the small number of female participants in math and science.

When I was in middle school, I desperately wanted to grow up to become a marine biologist. I devoted my time outside of school to online searches of colleges that offered programs in the field. I convinced myself that, no matter what the monetary cost, I would attend the best school for marine biology that I could get into. I researched science scholarships and applied myself in my classes, thinking that even my middle school grades would influence my ability to succeed. Being verbose, I told all of the adults in my life of my aspirations. Most of them brushed me off. After all, how could someone my age be sure of what they wanted to do for the rest of their life?

            Certain others attempted to dissuade me. I remember one of my teachers reminding me that science was extremely difficult as a career. They wondered if I would be able to overcome the obstacles, and besides I was a girl after all. They suggested I play towards my strengths in English instead. I argued vehemently that I was capable enough to pursue a career as a marine biologist. I swore I would prove them wrong. As I progressed through my academics, my grades were strong. However, somewhere along the way I lost confidence in my abilities in math and science. Earlier, I had seen these as two of my best subjects. I scored high on aptitude tests and did well on homework. However, my exam scores were low. Eventually, I tried to opt out of math classes altogether, instead seeking out English classes that I did well in.

            Very few of my math and science courses were taught by women. I remember all of them being harshly ridiculed for their accused ineptitude. I felt uncomfortable in the majority of my math and science classes taught by men. I often felt that the female students were singled out for the hardest questions, or faced comments on their appearance rather than their work. I believe that these harsh environments contributed to my own increasing disinterest in the subjects themselves.

            The self-fulfilling prophesy that results from the stereotype of women being somehow less able to perform in math and science is very real. As Barres writes in his commentary, when we propose that an entire group of individuals is less likely to succeed based on their biological makeup, we do a disservice to our whole community. In my own experiences, I have seen women facing a higher bar than men in order to be just as successful. Biological determinism is a weapon of discrimination. I love the perspective that Ben Barnes offers. As a transgender man, he has seen both sides of gender discrimination. I agree wholeheartedly when he likens a discrimination based on gender to racial discrimination. I hope that, like racial bigotry, gender discrimination will continue to make its way out of our culture.

            I also agree and want to reiterate the need for encouragement for women attempting to break into the male dominated, to and often female unfriendly, worlds of math and science. Our culture spends a great deal of energy breaking women down. A lack of confidence is a major contributor to women holding back their own potential. I hope that people start, and continue, to reach out to the women in their lives to help.

            When someone, especially someone who these women may look up to, claims that the reason women are fewer in these subjects than men is not because of a gender bias, but instead because of something that cannot be changed about themselves, a biological foundation, what ground do they have to stand on? Instead of pushing women out of math and science, we should instead be helping them climb the ladder of success. Suggesting that men and women are innately different to the level of one being lesser than the other is counterproductive to advancing society as a whole.

Behind the Mask

Gender diversity lives under the radar. It hides itself from the public eye, waiting until it feels safe to show itself. We wear a mask. Always trying to pass, afraid what people must be thinking. Afraid of what they will do to us if they find out who we are. We change the gendered pronouns of our partners from he to she, from she to he in front of company who may not approve of our sexuality. We lie to ourselves and say that things are getting better, that we are on the road to acceptance in our culture.

            In truth, in many ways we are digressing. It is true that blatant discrimination is decreasing on a mainstream level. However, we are facing new subtleties that redefine the term prejudice. Our language is adapting to make hate speech a normal part of conversation. Worse still, we combine sex and gender into a single definition that makes the two terms interchangeable and paves the way for ignorance. How many times have you been asked to indicate your gender on a form when the only options are male/female? Not only are the options limited, but they are both incorrect. Even in demographics we cannot identify ourselves correctly.

            Perhaps most indicative of the long road ahead of us in a cultural acceptance of gender diversity is our continued disdain for anything feminine. Our culture maintains an undercurrent of misogyny despite feminist movements as far back as 1890. We are faced with gender roles that are strict but also unequal. Masculine roles are valued in our culture, whereas feminine roles are subservient. A man is weak if he has feminine qualities whereas a female who presents in masculine ways is overstepping her bounds. She has no right to be masculine. Without considering traditional masculine and feminine roles to be of equal value, we cannot have acceptance of gender diversity.

            In an ideal world, acceptance of gender diversity would mean that as long as the roles necessary for survival were fulfilled, the sex or the gender of the person performing the role would be irrelevant. Men and women and everyone in-between or outside of those categories would be free to experience the full range of human expression. Telling a boy that “boys don’t cry” would be outdated. Likewise telling a little girl that “ladies don’t play in the dirt” would be a laughable insinuation. Social pressure to pass as the gender you have been assigned would fade, and people would be free to present how they were comfortable, be it cisgender, transgender, or gender queer. Women who want to be feminine could do so freely without being considered foolish, shallow, or mimicking the oppressor. Men could be masculine if they wanted. There would be no rules as long as the necessary social roles were filled by someone.

            This gender utopia seems farfetched from a contemporary perspective on gender roles. One has to wonder if accepting gender diversity on mainstream level is even possible. The barriers to acceptance are difficult to overcome. Religion, misogyny, and ignorance are significant challenges to acceptance of gender diversity. In many ways, these three things go hand in hand. A religion with misogynistic undertones creates a culture of intolerance towards deviation from prescribed gender roles based on a person’s birth sex. Ignorance works with both religion and misogyny in that strong belief systems make it difficult for a person to feel motivated to explore concepts that fall outside of their religion. Misogyny promotes ignorance by creating a bias that may prevent someone from being open-minded to discussions on gender.

            Most dominant religions tend to have misogynistic undertones. The idea that a woman’s place is at home, and that this role is inferior to the masculine role of providing for a family, encourages a social structure to be built around the assumption that women themselves are inferior to men. Throughout history, women have been seen as a commodity. In agricultural times, woman were traded like property and used as bargaining chips in order for patriarchal families to gain status and wealth. As the world has industrialized, this line of thinking has been challenged. From the time that women in America began the first women’s movement in 1890, they have sought to raise their social status. Although the first wave of feminism on through the second earned many rights and privileges for women, the need for a third wave gives evidence to the still misogynistic base for our patriarchal society.

            It is difficult to hear women’s voices above the roar of an overbearingly male dominated political system. The few women in politics are belittled publicly in that their manner of dress supersedes their accomplishments in legislation. Women are pushing for recognition while fighting an uphill battle against sexism that is constantly seeking to restore them to traditional roles. Religion works behind the scenes to tell women that they are fighting a losing battle and that biological determinism insists that they are physically unable to take on traditionally masculine roles. Moreover, our culture insists that in order to lead, a woman must be masculine. That socially categorized feminine qualities are unfit for leadership. This idea does a disservice in that it denies all individuals the opportunity to utilize the full range of qualities within themselves to overcome difficulties.

            By suggesting that certain qualities are to be solely feminine or solely masculine and further demanding that based on a person’s sex there can be no crossover of these qualities, our culture suffocates itself. Acceptance of gender diversity would mean being able to express both the masculinity and femininity which we all have within us. As a result, humanity as a whole performs poorer. It takes more than just cool or warm colors to paint a landscape, but rather a combination of both working in harmony to fully portray the image. It is in this combination of masculine and feminine that we create well-rounded individuals. Those who can embrace both ends of the spectrum are likely to be more successful, and above all, happier in life.

            In order to discuss a true acceptance of gender diversity, gender cannot be considered binary. The options are not limited to A or B. Instead, there is a plethora of in-between and outside possibilities for gender expression. I am not talking only of people who identify as a gender opposite of their birth sex, but also of those who identify as androgynous or gender queer and think of themselves as neither masculine nor feminine. If we dropped feminine and masculine labels for qualities then people could combat the boxes we currently force upon them and identify if and how they choose to.

            If accepting gender diversity was as beneficial to everyone as it seems then why is our culture fighting gender fluidity tooth and nail? It is possible that there is an evolutionary reason for binary gender roles as we have them in our society. Other animals also punish deviant behavior in their social groups. By reinforcing positive behaviors and punishing behaviors that endanger the survival of the group, or the species as a whole, other animals promote the continuance of their species.  One way to look at this behavior compared to our own in the context of gender diversity is to assume that gender diversity could have a negative impact on our species. However, a healthier perspective would turn the tables on this behavior. If instead of punishing diversity, we punished prejudice, it is possible that humans could utilize fresh perspectives and talents in order to aid our own species.

            Our world currently is in an environmental crisis. Overpopulation and over consumption means that the world’s resources run scarce. If we as a species channeled the energy we formerly put into ostracizing those who challenge what we culturally consider normal, then we could capitalize on what these individuals have to offer. Think of what humans could create with all of the currently unappreciated talent from those individuals whose voices we ignore. Forcing gender diverse people into hiding means that we cannot see what they have to offer. There is an untapped resource in the oppressed that our culture fears exploring. If we can overcome our phobias and choose open-mindedness instead of ignorance, it is possible that we, as a community of diverse perspectives, could achieve what we have only imagined.

            There is no reason that gender diverse people should have to wear a mask. In reality, we are all gender diverse.  Each of us has masculine and feminine qualities and those attributes that are not heavily gendered inside us. We are most successful when we embrace ourselves for all that we are. By restricting ourselves to only certain parts of who we are, we do ourselves a terrible disservice. No one should have to fear showing feminine characteristics if they are male and women should not be denied their right to express their masculinity. When we place restrictions on expressing who we are individually, we risk the health and happiness of our entire species.